Gossip Grill: We’re Here & Queer
Across the United States, lesbian bars have nearly disappeared. Once numbering in the hundreds, only a few dozen remain today.
Yet in San Diego's Hillcrest “gaybourhood”, Gossip Grill has spent nearly two decades doing something few others have: surviving, growing, and becoming a staple for the queer community. We were left wondering: why are there so few? And what makes Gossip Grill different?
When we had the honor of speaking with Moe Girton, proud owner of Gossip Grill, and Britt Leach, Director of Marketing, it became abundantly clear that their success isn’t luck. It’s due to their ability to build a business while providing, creating, and inspiring communities, all while embracing the ability to “pivot” when needed along the way.
We’re Here And Queer:
Established in 2009, community and inclusion have been at the cornerstone of Gossip Grill’s business strategy and woven into nearly every decision they’ve made since day one. This was something Britt, one of their first employees, could feel immediately, even before she applied for the job. “There were whispers that [the bar] was being built because there wasn't a queer female space at the time.” She initially applied because she wanted to be a part of this change and knew she would be a frequent patron anyway. She had no idea at the time it would turn into a 2-decade-long career.
While gay bars are a step in the right direction when it comes to inclusion and diversity in the restaurant business, they still cater primarily to men. Women, specifically lesbians, also require a place where they can safely be their authentic selves. In today’s world, 1 in 5 hate crimes are motivated by anti-LGBTQ. That is why third spaces can be life-saving and provide protection for these members. For some, these spaces are utopias where they get to truly be themselves.
Before Gossip Grill came to fruition, gay bars and queer-owned restaurants would host lesbian nights in San Diego, but there was never a physical place dedicated to their existence. Finally deciding it was time to give them their own bar to gather at, Moe jumped at the opportunity to take on this challenge.
Preserving Business Through Community
Peering into queer history shows that lesbians have always been at the forefront of change; the team at Gossip Grill is no exception. While many businesses may preach about community, Gossip Grill truly lives and breathes it. “The community has always come first…collaboration over competition,” says Britt.
There is no shortage of ways Gossip Grill supports their surrounding community. When Black Pride, a volunteer-led coalition in San Diego that connects and supports black LGBTQ+ members, lost funding for Pride, Gossip Grill stepped in to help by providing them a space and donations. They sponsor a room at Casa de Luz, a safe space for refugee LGBTQ+ members. They organize blood drives, an old lesbian tradition that honors the legacy of the Blood Sisters, which consisted of lesbian volunteers who donated blood during the AIDS crisis when gay men were legally not allowed to. On top of all of this, they also raise funds to help rescue people detained and kidnapped by ICE at the Otay Mesa Detention Center. Britt even once helped transport women released from the center who had nothing to their name and no direction on where to go.
When it comes to helping local communities and her philosophy, Moe says:
“It's whoever needs us: we try and help. It's mostly queer community, but with what's going on in this world right now, we've really had to step up… [and] spread our resources in different ways.”
Not only does Gossip Grill help their community, they fiercely protect it. Safety in their establishment isn't treated as an afterthought. Consent signage, trained security staff, and clear community expectations all help ensure guests feel welcome while protecting the space they've worked so hard to create
Photos courtesy of Gossip GrillMastering The Art of The Pivot
While community points to the reason Gossip Grill exists, their ability to “pivot” is why they’re still here. While many businesses can struggle to respond to changing circumstances, Moe’s team is built around a culture of adaptability.
During COVID, when physical gatherings weren’t possible, they started a drag queen delivery service and a cocktail hour over Zoom for their customers to maintain their connection with the community.
Even the vision for Gossip Grill has evolved over time. Perhaps one of the biggest pivots they’ve had to make was from identifying as a “lesbian” bar to a “women’s” bar. Moe recounted that when she started in the business in the early 2000s, there were 200 lesbian bars, but they wanted to remain only lesbian bars. “Our community is fluid and changing, and that means that we have to, too,” Britt explains, as one example, “a lot of our guests who [may have] started as lesbians, are now trans men, so we have to be sensitive to that.”
Today, that same “adaptability” mindset shows up in various ways. Staff members are encouraged to bring new event ideas to the table, and their programming evolves with younger generations. Gossip Grill stays committed to acclimating their business as the LGBTQ+ community itself evolves. That flexibility has become one of its greatest strengths.
Photo courtesy of Gossip Grill
Here To Stay
It’s not due to luck that Gossip Grill has not only survived the endless challenges of the restaurant business, but continues to stand out as an exemplary and highly-respected establishment in San Diego. Their success is rooted in community, collaboration, adaptability, and, therefore, resilience. Despite the obstacles thrown in their path, or the loud protests from the world about who they should be, they push every single day to keep their doors open for those who have found a home there.
From her years there, Britt says, “Gossip Grill's existence has quite literally saved lives.”
Even if lesbian bars are dwindling, Gossip Grill will continue to serve its community (and a delicious margarita!)
Sources:
Human Rights Campaign – New FBI Data: Anti-LGBTQ Hate Crimes Continue to Spike Even as Overall Crime Rate Declines
San Diego Pride – Pride is History
